Have I ever
five years ago we went with my family to the movie theater
and didn't sit with them, but that didn't mean I wanted
your tongue down my throat in the same room that contained
the person who dictated my life completely .
Kissing you gave me butterflies, a rapid pulse,
and this awful, sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Five years later kissing means nothing, or really, it means too many things
that are too meaningless. kissing means you are drunk, it means you are bored,
it means you are doing more promiscuous things--
but it doesn't mean you care for someone
or even that you have any particular desire to be kissing them.
Five years later the butterflies you get when mouths mesh still occasionally
make an appearance, but on different occasions, like when you are so drunk
that you are vomiting on yourself and he undresses you and helps you take a shower.
Or when someone says you are gorgeous and it doesn't translate directly into
'sleep with me.' Those butterflies soar when you get the